FaceBook
by UnderTheAlchemist
Summary: Claire has gone CRAZY on FaceBook how will Myrnin react when she sends him a message saying ' there's a stranger in my bed, there's a pounding in my head' in this Myrnin and Claire are together!
1. Chapter 1

**Name: **Claire

**Age: **17 almost 18!

**Relationship: **In a relationship with Myrnin Conwy

**Status: **Alchemy and love mix well together.

Claire: There's a stranger in my bed.

(Shane dislikes this and Eve likes this.)

Myrnin: WHAT? CLAIRE HOW COULD YOU!

(Shane LOVES this)

Claire: There's a pounding in my head.

(Michael feels the same)

Myrnin: What Claire? What's happening? I don't understand?

(Shane likes this.)

Claire: Glitter all over the room.

Eve: LOL! I get it!

Shane: Myrnin's pissed keep going!

Eve: Michael why is there a pounding in your head? Claire is there something you need to tell me?

Myrnin: NO the Lab! Glitter it will take forever to clean up! AND Back to the important matter WHY AND WHO IS THE STRANGER IN YOUR BED!

Michael: Maybe we should tell him?

Shane: You do that and I'll stake you!

Eve: SHANE! (Kicks Shane repeatedly)

Claire: Pink flamingos in the pool.

Myrnin: Claire we don't have a pool! What's wrong with you? AND WHY IS THERE A STRANGER IN YOUR BED?

Claire: I smell like a minibar.

Myrnin: What we don't have mini bar!

Claire: DJ's passed out in the yard, Barbie's on the barbeque.

Myrnin: Claire there is no DJ and aren't you a little old for Barbie's?

Amelie: Claire, I do find this quite amusing. Michael I will let Shane stake you if you tell him. I wish to see how this plays out.

Myrnin: How what plays out? Amelie please tell me what's going on, we're friends please!

Claire: Is this a hickie or a bruise?

Myrnin: That better be a bruise because I have not given you a hickie! Claire why is there a stranger in your bed? I won't be mad. Please tell me who he is… so I can kill him.

Amelie: Myrnin you understand you can't do that.

Myrnin: … sure

Claire: Pictures of last night, ended up online, I'm screwed, oh well!

Myrnin: Claire get rid of the pictures what if someone see's it! And you better not be screwed by anyone else!

Claire: It's a black top blur, but I'm pretty sure it ruled!

Eve: LMAO!

Myrnin: And people say I'm the insane one!

Claire: Last Friday night, yeah we danced on table tops, and we took too many shots, think we kissed but I forgot.

Myrnin: We did not dance on table tops, we did not take any shots and you better be talking about me when you say we kissed and if I remember rightly we did more than that…

Eve: Too much info!

Michael: Ow…

Shane: Myrnin shut up! Claire keeps going! Myrnin it was me!

Myrnin: Claire how could you?

Claire: Last Friday night, yeah we maxed our credit cards, and got kicked out of the bar, so we hit the boulevard.

Myrnin: Claire you're not yourself, you don't get kid out of bars regally do you? Where did you go last Friday night there's no boulevards in Morganville. Amelie? Help.

Claire: Last Friday night, we went streaking in the park, skinny dipping in the dark, and then had a ménage a trois.

Myrnin: Claire I don't know what's wrong with you. You went streaking in the park and what's skinny dipping? I'm scare I won't like the answer will I?

Claire: Last Friday night, yeah I think we broke the law, always say we're gonna stop-op, Whoa-oh-oah!

Myrnin: YOU WILL STOP!

Eve: Claire I think I'm gonna die! THIS IS SO FUNNY!

Shane: I hope that he will die.

Michael: I still think we should tell him, think about what he might do?

Shane: Downer!

Claire: This Friday night, do it all again, this Friday night, Do it all again!

Myrnin: NO YOU WILL NOT!

Shane: Oh yes she will we me!

Claire: Trying to connect the dots, don't know what to tell my boss.

Myrnin: You're telling him right now! Where are the dots? What dots?

Eve: Rolf…

Shane: LOL!

Claire: Think the city towed my car, chandelier is on the floor.

Myrnin: Claire you don't have a car. Amelie did you give her a car? And what happened with your chandelier?

Amelie: Don't worry about the chandelier Myrnin, and no I did not give Claire a car though I am thinking about it.

Shane: Cool!

Eve: Are cars can be car twins! Separated at birth!

Claire: With my favourite party dress, warrants out for my arrest.

Myrnin: You don't wear a lot of dresses! A warrant? Ok meet me tomorrow at 11pm outside Common Grounds to talk with the unicorn; he'll know what to do.

Eve: Unicorn? Micky told you there were real!

Shane: I live with a bunch of fruit cakes!

Amelie: Myrnin maybe we should book you into the mental hospital.

Myrnin: Don't be silly! Any way we have something more urgent at hand here! WHY IS THERE A STRANGER IN YOUR BED?

Claire: Think I need a ginger ale that was such an epic fail.

Myrnin: No you do not, maybe coffee and when you use words like 'epic fail'.

Claire:

Last Friday night

Yeah we maxed our credits card

And got kicked out of the bars

So we hit the boulevards

Last Friday night

We went streaking in the park

Skinny dipping in the dark

Then had a ménage a trois

Yeah I think we broke the law

Always say we're gonna stop-op

Oh whoa oh

This Friday night

Do it all again

Do it all again

This Friday night

Do it all again

Do it all again

This Friday night

Myrnin: Claire don't repeat yourself I get the message, just let me drown in my own sorrow! And you will not do it all again!

Eve: Hypocrite.

Shane: Man you just got owned!

Myrnin: No I did not, I'm still in charge of myself.

Amelie: No you don't, I'm in charge of you.

Myrnin: No you're not, mother!

Amelie: Don't disrespect your Founder! Apologize!

Myrnin: I'm sorry Amelie.

Amelie: Founder.

Myrnin: I'm sorry Founder.

Shane: Whipped.

Eve: Not like your not!

Shane: Am not. And who would?

Eve: Claire.

Shane:… yeah, I am.

Eve: HAHHAHHA

Michael: Ow…

Eve: You are as well Michael, and what is wrong with your head?

Oliver: Myrnin I have the witnesses can I kill them now?

Amelie: NO!

Myrnin: What? Amelie please they saw Claire last Friday night! They 'say' they didn't see anything so they have to die!

Claire: Myrnin STOP! It's a song, Last Friday Night by Katy Perry. It was stuck in my head, Oliver release them!

Amelie: Oliver obey.

Eve: Claire no fun!

Shane: The song finished anyway, but still you shouldn't have told him!

Myrnin: So none of that happened?

Claire: Yes Myrnin and I did not kiss you Shane.

Oliver: So should I release them?

Amelie: Yes! Wipe their memories too.

Myrnin: Everything is ok now, Claire has promise not to do anything like that again!

Claire: … sure.

Eve: What happened to Michael then?

**OK! DONE! If I get enough reviews then I'll do more, why do you think there was a pounding in Michaels head? Was Claire lying about the man in her bed?**

**PLEASE REVIEW!  
25 REVIEWS PLEASE!**

Myrnin: Come on review. More of me. (VERY sexy grin) 


	2. Chapter 2

**Name:** Amelie Bishop

**Age:** Physically - 26

**Relationship:** Single.

**Status:** I am The Founder, so therefore I am THE BOSS!

**Oliver: **I will take over Morganville.

**Amelie: **I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf.

**Oliver:** Wow, Amelie. No need to go that far, plus I don't own a H&M scarf.

**Shane:** Finally getting a mean streak Amelie, I like it.

**Claire:** Amelie are you ok? Did something happen?

**Amelie: **While jacking off listening to Mozart.

**Oliver:** … How did you know?

**Shane:** …. Too much info.

**Myrnin:** What happened to Amelie?

**Claire:** That's what I want to know.

**Michael: **Didn't pin you as a Mozart hippy.

**Amelie: **You bitch and moan about LA.

**Oliver:** No Morganville, I've never been to LA.

**Claire:** I didn't know Amelie swor- Oh I get it! LoL

**Shane:** I don't….

**Myrnin: **Claire come to the Lab.

**Shane: **You can't just order her around. She doesn't belong to you!

**Claire:** Before this turns into a fight, Myrnin I'm coming.

***Claire runs to the Lab and tells Myrnin what she knows***

**Myrnin:** Ha! So funny, didn't think Amelie would do it.

**Eve: **What happened to Amelie?

**Amelie: **Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway

**Oliver: **No I don't…

**Amelie: **You don't eat meat

**Oliver:** I'm a vampire; I thought you knew that….

**Claire:** LOL No one has an idea…

**Michael:** Damn it, I'm scared now. Claire has gone into a frantic fit, Amelie gone well… strange…. and Myrnin is in a fit with Claire. The last one isn't that strange.

**Shane:** What there together? What the hell is going on? Where are they? THE BEDROOM?

**Michael:** Calm down there in the living room, science books, laptop that's all. You should trust Claire more.

**Claire: **I second that.

**Eve:** I third that.

**Myrnin: **I fifth that and Bob Sixths that.

**Amelie:** And drive electrical cars

You're so indie rock it's almost an art

You need SPF 45 just to stay alive.

**Oliver:** I'm not alive, and why thank you it is almost an art.

**Claire:** …. Indie rock seriously?

**Shane:** …

**Amelie:** You're so gay and you don't even like boys

**Oliver:** AMELIE!

**Claire:** OMG! LOL ROLF !

**Shane:** Man its ok we all knew it.

**Michael:** You should come out, we'll accept you.

**Oliver:** I AM NOT GAY!

**Myrnin:** You don't have to get all defensive about it.

**Oliver:** IM NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE!

**Amelie:** You're so sad maybe you should buy a Happy Meal

**Eve:** I'm surprised she knows what a happy meal is…

**Oliver: **I'm not sad only angry that you keep calling me gay! Wouldn't that make me happy anyway?

**Amelie:** You're so skinny you should really Supersize the deal

**Eve:** OK, now I get it!

**Shane:** She really hasn't seen Oliver ever.

**Michael:** LOL! I get it!

**Oliver:** Watch your tongue Collins or I'll take it.

**Claire:** Wow original never heard that, what when you turn do you all go through some insult training if so then you really need to update it!

**Myrnin:** How did she find out about that?

**Shane:** …. So strange.

**Amelie: **Secretly you're so amused

That nobody understands you

**Oliver:** You see right into my soul…

**Claire:** Amelie I think he's taking this to heart you beta tell him soon.

**Eve:** No fun!

**Shane:** I never got it! What's going on?

**Amelie:** I'm so mean 'cause I cannot get you outta your head

I'm so angry 'cause you'd rather MySpace instead

I can't believe I fell in love

With someone that wears more makeup than

**Oliver:** I love you too!

**Claire:** Knew it!

**Michael:** Same.

**Eve:** Same.

**Amelie:** It was a song Oliver, I don't love you. You repulse me.

**Shane:** Even I think that was harsh…

**Claire: **Oliver just broke down in the middle of Common Grounds, what should I do?

**Shane:** Stake him!

**Michael:** SHANE!

**Shane:** What?

**Eve:** The man just had his heart broke!

**Shane: **His heart doesn't beat! It would put him out of his misery!

**Claire:** Now he's asking every to stake him after he has a long talk to them about never to fall in love! It's so creepy, he's saying to a little kid!

**Shane:** DO IT!

**Amelie:** I'm ok with that!

**Claire:** AMELIE!  
**Myrnin:** Just do what she says Claire!

**Claire:** Myrnin you can't compel people on the internet!

**Myrnin:** How did you ….?

**Oliver: **You know you should never fall in love, its painful, degrading plus they just get what you want from you and throw you away like a human…

**Eve & All humans on Facebook:** HEY!

**Myrnin:** Amelie you didn't did you? With him of all people?!

**Amelie:** …

**Claire: **Amelie just tell him.

**Amelie:** GET UP! This was a practically joke no one took it seriously, the song 'Ur so Gay' by Katy Perry.

**Oliver: **I knew… I was just playing along… Yep that's what I was doing… Playing along…

**Claire:** … sure.

**(End of Chat, shut down by the weeping tears of a grow vampire.)**

**I know it's a long wait, but I wasn't going to add anymore chapters. So know I'm going to keep going and if you have any songs or characters you want done then please tell me! PLEASE R&R!**


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